How to Support Emotional Wellbeing in Toddlers

Tantrums. They're a thankless - but unavoidable - part of parenting. Your little bug kicks off unpredictably; it's loud + embarrassing. Perhaps you lose your temper too. You're both tense + regretful afterwards.

But it DOESN'T have to be like that. Remember, when your minibeast is having a tantrum, they are in emotional crisis: their feelings are too big for them to handle, so now is not the time to reason with them. Instead:

🦋 Remember this is NOT personal. Your minibeast is not 'playing up'/'manipulating you'. They are dealing with something incredibly important to them in the moment, even if it seems small to us.

🐝 Give your little one time + space to express their feelings. Yes, they might cry/shout for a bit. Try not to shush them; providing they're safe it's important to let emotions out.

🐌 Do what YOU need to keep calm. Being present while your little bug is 'having a meltdown' is taxing. Take a few steps away + breathe. Try some somatic moves. Make a cuppa. Find some peace.

🐛 Offer your bug some love. They may reject you, but at least they know you are there, ready to love them.

THEN, WHEN EVERYONE IS CALM (+ only then, because a preschooler in crisis can only take in 1 in every 5 words you say, no matter how articulate they usually are):

🐞 Name the emotion. Your little bug may not understand their feelings yet. By providing an emotional vocabulary, you can validate how they were feeing.

🐌 Breathe together. Try sitting your little one on your lap. Give them a calm jar or fiddle toy, + simply let them rest against you. Breathe deeply + slowly; eventually your little bug's breathing should match yours.

🐝 Talk about how you can fix the situation. This doesn't mean 'giving in' to your minibeast's demands, but thinking about what you could BOTH do next time.

🦋 Move on with your day. Try not to linger in the frustration, or to let it put a negative spin on your day. I recommend nature to soothe big emotions, so going for a walk is my go-to strategy. Whatever you do, try to be gentle to yourself + your child. You're doing your best.

One final thing: children will only allow themselves to lose control around people they feel totally secure with. Even though tantrums feel terrible, emotional crises are a sign of a secure bond + great parenting.

You've got this. 🩷

But... if you'd like a few more ideas to help you support your little one's big emotions, my instagram is filled with breathing exercises for emotional regulation. Or come along to one of my sessions - right now we're exploring emotions in our TinyBugs Flow sessions, + there may be an exciting new emotions course releasing soon!